Humor

More Oxymorons

submitted by Donna Phelps

• Why is bra singular and panties plural?

• Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

• Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

• How come abbreviated is such a long word?

• Why do we wash bath towels?  Aren’t we clean when we use them?

• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

• Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

• Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your sock?

• Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

More Oxymorons

submitted by Donna Phelps

• Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

• Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

• Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

• Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

• Why is “phonetic” not spelled the way it sounds?

• If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

• If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Oxymorons

submitted by Donna Phelps

• Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

• If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

• If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

• Why do we say something is out of whack?   What is a whack?

• Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

• Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

• Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

• Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

• Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?